You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
