and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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