how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Drunk is not a location!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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