a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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