well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
