I don't think brook has ever known best
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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