I am puke
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
