Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
