I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
