i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
