Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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