At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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