I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
