Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
