By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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