So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
