im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
