And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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