I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I need a beard to bite.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
