those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
