I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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