drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
