Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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