you would pick up someone in the library
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
