Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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