Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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