Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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