So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
