That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
vagina is talking i cant
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
