Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
