bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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