i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
