when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
