True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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