Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
