just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
