Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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