Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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