Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
