Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
