Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish I could teleport
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
