I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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