In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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