I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
