Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Bring me that man meat
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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