Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
