Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
