Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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