I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize