somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
