absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
