Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize