Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
