Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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