apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
