dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am spending my child support on dildos
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
