My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
