return my video game
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
