I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
