Nicole vs. Life
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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