Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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